Mom is very weak because she can't eat. Her throat has been getting raw/sore again and it's very difficult for her to swallow.
I had to edit my last post....Mom lost 36 not 26 pounds in 6 weeks! Guess I don't do math very well. :)
Mom decided to skip radiation for the rest of the week. I told her I didn't like the idea. She's weak because she needs to drink more Ensure for the vitamins, minerals and protein. She's concentrating more on just Gatorade and staying hydrated but I told her that wasn't enough. Elisa and I are frustrated. Why can't they just give people shots of this stuff so they don't have to worry about getting the necessary nutrients!
Elisa has the day off tomorrow so she is going to try to push mom to get her treatment tomorrow. I told mom that if she fails to go the rest of the week, she then needs to tack on two days next week. Her last day was supposed to be Monday. I told Elisa to push mom to drink more Ensure too. Elisa and I will be there Saturday and will push mom more. She only has a few more days left, she has to hang in there and do what is necessary.
Mom was throwing up the other night too, which doesn't help. Will let you know later how things are going...
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Monday, February 25, 2013
Last day of chemo....for now
I walked through the door this morning to pick up mom for her long day of treatment. I wasn't prepared to see mom the way she was.
I hadn't seen mom in over a week, but talked on the phone with her virtually every day. She looked thinner and more of her hair was gone. I also noticed that her eyes looked different somehow. Upon closer inspection, it seems the medication she is taking is causing her eyes to dilate and she has less eyelashes. It's amazing, however, how she really hasn't lost that much of her eyebrows or other body hair. I'm sure that will change in the coming weeks.
Mom's last day of chemo was today. For now. We saw the doctor and her blood pressure was normal and she weighed 172 pounds. She has lost 36 pounds in about a month and a half. But her mentality seems good and her attitude as well which I am grateful for.
I spoke with the person in Accounting to pull her help in trying to get an answer from Social Services as to the status of mom's Medicaid application. She was able to get through. The application was still sitting here waiting to be processed? Seriously??
The bottom line is this: Mom qualifies but she must meet $600 in out-of-pocket medical expenses each month before she qualifies for Medicaid for that month. So it's like having to meet a deductible first. Katrina (the Accounting person) said she had never heard a high pay down like that before. She has seen as low as $14 up to $200. She wondered how they came up with that figure. I told her that it may be from a chart I saw on their website. She printed it out and found a dollar amount that could be a factor (the amount on the chart is deducted from total income and the difference is the pay down amount). She and I were outraged that mom's pay down of $600 was so high. It constitutes about 1/2 of mom's total fixed income. For real?? But you can help low income families with 8 kids and provide everything for them virtually free but can't help and elderly person on a fixed income who pays her bills each month on time and has a mortgage and sustains herself on a limited monthly income?? I thought Medicaid reimbursed you for medical expense and didn't realize that this is how it worked. Katrina said mom was better off paying the 20% Medicare doesn't cover as it would be much cheaper. I tend to agree. In any case, I will be giving Katrina a copy of the application and backup documentation so that she can look at it more closely and try to help. At least social services is also trying to get Part D for mom to help cover the cost of prescriptions as she doesn't have coverage right now.
I kept looking at mom today and remembering the pretty, vibrant woman who used to be and wished still was. Emotionally I'm fine until I see mom. It's so difficult to remember how she used to be and how much, physically, she has changed. Like I have said before, I never noticed mom ageing...until this happened. She's looking frail and old to me. I want to turn back the clock. I see pictures on the wall and see her in various stages of her life and one picture of her in particular. As I stand there and look at the picture of her smiling, I say to mom, "I am this age now that you were then." It's so weird because as I see her age more than ever, I too see myself age. It's unnerving.
I told mom how proud of her I am. She has come a long way and has handled it emotionally and physically overall, very well. She's clinging onto hope that she is beating this thing or at least giving it a good beating, lol.
Two weeks from today she goes in for a two-week follow up. The doctor may do a cat scan to determine where we are at with the cancer mass. The weekly xrays she was getting at the radiation center was only so they could determine where/how to apply the treatment...not to see if the cancer was shrinking.
So we will have to be patient a little while longer. I hope we get good news in the long run.....
I hadn't seen mom in over a week, but talked on the phone with her virtually every day. She looked thinner and more of her hair was gone. I also noticed that her eyes looked different somehow. Upon closer inspection, it seems the medication she is taking is causing her eyes to dilate and she has less eyelashes. It's amazing, however, how she really hasn't lost that much of her eyebrows or other body hair. I'm sure that will change in the coming weeks.
Mom's last day of chemo was today. For now. We saw the doctor and her blood pressure was normal and she weighed 172 pounds. She has lost 36 pounds in about a month and a half. But her mentality seems good and her attitude as well which I am grateful for.
I spoke with the person in Accounting to pull her help in trying to get an answer from Social Services as to the status of mom's Medicaid application. She was able to get through. The application was still sitting here waiting to be processed? Seriously??
The bottom line is this: Mom qualifies but she must meet $600 in out-of-pocket medical expenses each month before she qualifies for Medicaid for that month. So it's like having to meet a deductible first. Katrina (the Accounting person) said she had never heard a high pay down like that before. She has seen as low as $14 up to $200. She wondered how they came up with that figure. I told her that it may be from a chart I saw on their website. She printed it out and found a dollar amount that could be a factor (the amount on the chart is deducted from total income and the difference is the pay down amount). She and I were outraged that mom's pay down of $600 was so high. It constitutes about 1/2 of mom's total fixed income. For real?? But you can help low income families with 8 kids and provide everything for them virtually free but can't help and elderly person on a fixed income who pays her bills each month on time and has a mortgage and sustains herself on a limited monthly income?? I thought Medicaid reimbursed you for medical expense and didn't realize that this is how it worked. Katrina said mom was better off paying the 20% Medicare doesn't cover as it would be much cheaper. I tend to agree. In any case, I will be giving Katrina a copy of the application and backup documentation so that she can look at it more closely and try to help. At least social services is also trying to get Part D for mom to help cover the cost of prescriptions as she doesn't have coverage right now.
I kept looking at mom today and remembering the pretty, vibrant woman who used to be and wished still was. Emotionally I'm fine until I see mom. It's so difficult to remember how she used to be and how much, physically, she has changed. Like I have said before, I never noticed mom ageing...until this happened. She's looking frail and old to me. I want to turn back the clock. I see pictures on the wall and see her in various stages of her life and one picture of her in particular. As I stand there and look at the picture of her smiling, I say to mom, "I am this age now that you were then." It's so weird because as I see her age more than ever, I too see myself age. It's unnerving.
I told mom how proud of her I am. She has come a long way and has handled it emotionally and physically overall, very well. She's clinging onto hope that she is beating this thing or at least giving it a good beating, lol.
Two weeks from today she goes in for a two-week follow up. The doctor may do a cat scan to determine where we are at with the cancer mass. The weekly xrays she was getting at the radiation center was only so they could determine where/how to apply the treatment...not to see if the cancer was shrinking.
So we will have to be patient a little while longer. I hope we get good news in the long run.....
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Last Week of Chemo
Well this is mom's last week of chemo (well last day is Monday, 2/25).
Mom is doing well so far. Her blood pressure, blood count and weight is good. She just needs to remember to really push the proteins and fluids because of the chemo as it takes so much out of a person.
She is still getting radiation every day. Her last day is around March 4th. I didn't know this until I spoke to mom the other day, but apparently she has been getting x-rays every Monday and the doctor hasn't told her anything. And she didn't bother asking because she just wants to get her treatment and leave.
So when I am with mom next Monday for her long day, I plan on asking her doctor why he hasn't said anything about the x-rays. Maybe it's how they do things around there and won't discuss it with mom until this phase of treatment is over. Either way, I want to to know what is going on.
We are still waiting to hear from Social Services about mom's Medicaid application. I called last week and it still did not go through the eligibility process yet. Yeah, take your time....while mom is struggling to pay her bills.
I haven't had much time to write lately, my apologies, but not much has changed with mom.
Until next time folks... :)
Mom is doing well so far. Her blood pressure, blood count and weight is good. She just needs to remember to really push the proteins and fluids because of the chemo as it takes so much out of a person.
She is still getting radiation every day. Her last day is around March 4th. I didn't know this until I spoke to mom the other day, but apparently she has been getting x-rays every Monday and the doctor hasn't told her anything. And she didn't bother asking because she just wants to get her treatment and leave.
So when I am with mom next Monday for her long day, I plan on asking her doctor why he hasn't said anything about the x-rays. Maybe it's how they do things around there and won't discuss it with mom until this phase of treatment is over. Either way, I want to to know what is going on.
We are still waiting to hear from Social Services about mom's Medicaid application. I called last week and it still did not go through the eligibility process yet. Yeah, take your time....while mom is struggling to pay her bills.
I haven't had much time to write lately, my apologies, but not much has changed with mom.
Until next time folks... :)
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Broken Machine
Well, mom had several days (since last Tuesday) with no treatment so that she could get well enough to resume treatment. She has been feeling much better...more each day.
She went yesterday to resume her radiation treatment only to find when she arrived, that their machine was broken. She went to get her blood work done and she was due to arrive today for treatment. The machine is apparently still broken!
Mom's frustrated as she wants to resume her treatments. The sooner she gets all of it done, the better. Right now she kind of feels like she is in limbo with her life and she just wants this part of the "cancer phase" behind her. Can't say that I blame her.
Her blood work came back with very good results. She is continuing to concentrate on strengthening herself inside and out. What a HUGE difference between this week and last week. She seems so healthy and alert!
Well, nothing else to report. 'Til next time, have a good night!
She went yesterday to resume her radiation treatment only to find when she arrived, that their machine was broken. She went to get her blood work done and she was due to arrive today for treatment. The machine is apparently still broken!
Mom's frustrated as she wants to resume her treatments. The sooner she gets all of it done, the better. Right now she kind of feels like she is in limbo with her life and she just wants this part of the "cancer phase" behind her. Can't say that I blame her.
Her blood work came back with very good results. She is continuing to concentrate on strengthening herself inside and out. What a HUGE difference between this week and last week. She seems so healthy and alert!
Well, nothing else to report. 'Til next time, have a good night!
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Hair
Went over to mom's today to clean the house. I walked in as Elisa was cutting mom's hair. She needed to cut it before shaving it off.
As I was standing there watching, I was thinking here we are. Another step in in the life of cancer. One I never thought we'd be at in a million years when t came to mom. And yet there will be so many more steps to take.
Elisa took the shears and we both looked at each other, and then the process of shaving mom's hair off began.
You could see some bald spots where clumps of hair had previously come out. Mom is taking this process better than Elisa and I.
As I was continuing to witness this, I couldn't help but notice how frail mom looked. She suddenly appeared old to me....again. Twice in one week this hits me. And so the parent has become the child while the child has become the parent. Life does come full circle.
I asked mom how it felt for her hair to be shaved off and she just shrugged her shoulders. Didn't really bother her. She said it would grow back. She just wanted it off so she could shower, lol. She hadn't showered in a few days because it just kept coming off. She was waiting for Elisa to shave it. She's taking it alot better than we are that is for sure. To lighten the mood I said, "Gee mom, you're lookin' like a 67 year-old lesbian!". LOL. That brought a giggle out of her. We all started laughing. (I think Elisa was shocked I said that, lol.)
Elisa left some hair on her head, it's not completely shaved off. I told mom that it looks better when all that hair is away from her face.
As soon as Elisa was done, mom jumped in the shower. I began to clean the whole house for her. She feels better now that she is clean, the house is clean (and no hair laying around). She feels a little weak today but much better than she was feeling the beginning of the week.
Well...time to get ready for my much needed date night with Dan. Movie and dinner sounds good to me. Been awhile since we have gone out and had fun together. Need to get my mind off of things for a little while.
As I was standing there watching, I was thinking here we are. Another step in in the life of cancer. One I never thought we'd be at in a million years when t came to mom. And yet there will be so many more steps to take.
Elisa took the shears and we both looked at each other, and then the process of shaving mom's hair off began.
You could see some bald spots where clumps of hair had previously come out. Mom is taking this process better than Elisa and I.
As I was continuing to witness this, I couldn't help but notice how frail mom looked. She suddenly appeared old to me....again. Twice in one week this hits me. And so the parent has become the child while the child has become the parent. Life does come full circle.
I asked mom how it felt for her hair to be shaved off and she just shrugged her shoulders. Didn't really bother her. She said it would grow back. She just wanted it off so she could shower, lol. She hadn't showered in a few days because it just kept coming off. She was waiting for Elisa to shave it. She's taking it alot better than we are that is for sure. To lighten the mood I said, "Gee mom, you're lookin' like a 67 year-old lesbian!". LOL. That brought a giggle out of her. We all started laughing. (I think Elisa was shocked I said that, lol.)
Elisa left some hair on her head, it's not completely shaved off. I told mom that it looks better when all that hair is away from her face.
As soon as Elisa was done, mom jumped in the shower. I began to clean the whole house for her. She feels better now that she is clean, the house is clean (and no hair laying around). She feels a little weak today but much better than she was feeling the beginning of the week.
Well...time to get ready for my much needed date night with Dan. Movie and dinner sounds good to me. Been awhile since we have gone out and had fun together. Need to get my mind off of things for a little while.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Vast Improvement
My sister called to tell me how much better mom is feeling. What a huge difference since Monday. She was eating, drinking and wouldn't stop chatting, lol. Yeah, I told her how I knew mom was getting better because when I picked her up yesterday, she was chatting away on our way to the radiation center.
I called mom myself to get a first-hand account on how she is doing. Yep, she was being chatty and upbeat. My god, it was as if she was back to normal. So good to hear. She's been eating and drinking more and my sister had to stock her up on more Gatorade for fear she may run out. Awesome!
Mom hasn't been sleeping well but her medication gives her the ability to eat and drink. She takes a liquid numbing medication for her throat and then two Percocet's with yogurt. This takes away the pain so she can get food and liquids down more easily and she said this is helping.
Her hair is falling out more and more each day. Elisa will be shaving mom's hair off tomorrow evening. I hope it won't upset mom too much or be too much of a shock. If there is any brighter side to this, at least she doesn't have very long hair...that would be worse. And just think of the money she'll save as she won't have to get perms, cuts or haircoloring. :) And mom being mom, she said no sense vacuuming until she gets her hair shaved. Okay, you must be feeling better if you are worried about that, ha ha.
If any of you wish to reach out to mom, this week is a good time to do that. After this weekend, it's back to radiation every day and she may not be up to talking. She begins chemo treatments again on 2/18 for that whole week.
It's about half over mom. Hang in there!
I called mom myself to get a first-hand account on how she is doing. Yep, she was being chatty and upbeat. My god, it was as if she was back to normal. So good to hear. She's been eating and drinking more and my sister had to stock her up on more Gatorade for fear she may run out. Awesome!
Mom hasn't been sleeping well but her medication gives her the ability to eat and drink. She takes a liquid numbing medication for her throat and then two Percocet's with yogurt. This takes away the pain so she can get food and liquids down more easily and she said this is helping.
Her hair is falling out more and more each day. Elisa will be shaving mom's hair off tomorrow evening. I hope it won't upset mom too much or be too much of a shock. If there is any brighter side to this, at least she doesn't have very long hair...that would be worse. And just think of the money she'll save as she won't have to get perms, cuts or haircoloring. :) And mom being mom, she said no sense vacuuming until she gets her hair shaved. Okay, you must be feeling better if you are worried about that, ha ha.
If any of you wish to reach out to mom, this week is a good time to do that. After this weekend, it's back to radiation every day and she may not be up to talking. She begins chemo treatments again on 2/18 for that whole week.
It's about half over mom. Hang in there!
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Road to Small Recovery
Took mom to her treatment. She seemed better than yesterday, much to my relief. She seemed to have a little more energy and she was talking better and her thought process seemed clearer.
We learned that her CBC levels were very low so the radiation center decided to cease her treatment until Monday to allow her body to heal. She has no immunity right now to ward off any infections so no one who is ill can visit her right now.
We went to the chemo center where mom received 2 liters of saline mixed with sugar and salt to balance electrolytes. She was talkative and seemed to have more energy. I could see her eyes! They didn't seem half-closed and her pallor looked much better. I was so relieved! She almost seemed like her old self.
So the nurse and I kept telling her over and over again how important it was to keep eating and drinking. I asked mom, "Don't you feel better than you did yesterday? Do you feel the difference?" To which she replied to both questions, "Yes." I said, "That should be the motivator to make you want to continue to eat and drink more and force yourself to even if you don't want to. Just remember how tired and worn out you felt and how close you were to ending up in the hospital." I advised her to get more intravenous fluids on Friday to hold her over the weekend just to be on the safe side and probably at least 3 times a week until all of her treatment is completed. Can't hurt.
So when we got home, I made sure she took her medication, drank some Gatorade and ate some dinner.
She seemed almost like she was in a good mood tonight. Thank you lord.
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