End of Long Cycle

Today was mom's last day of her "long cycle"!  She is doing good but she is still weak.  It's been a long journey so far.  We've experienced and learned so much about this disease and the emotions thereof.  I so hope that the efforts of the treatments results in good news for us all.

In about a month, she will receive an x-ray and see the doctor to determine the next course of treatment(s).  She may only need to go once a week or twice a week, it all depends on the tumor.  

She wants to go to the funerals of Uncle Bob and Aunt Kathy but she is too weak and still susceptible to germs.  She is sad about this but hopes to be able to attend their burials (if there will be burials) in the upcoming warmer months.

It's ironic how mom is trying to make sure that I am emotionally okay as we have experienced so much these last few months with her cancer, two deaths in the family within days of each other, my surgery next week, my step-son to move in with Dan and I this month and the added workload because my boss left.  My stress level is very high and although I'm not dealing with a terminal illness, my mom is and she is STILL encouraging me and making sure that I am alright and still being my rock.  Not thinking of herself...as always. I love you so much mom!  But don't worry about me, I said, I will be fine!

I hope she will be too.

Road To Recovery

I spoke with mom today.  She is getting better and better with each passing day.

She's been eating soft foods like eggs and yogurt and continuing to get down as much liquids and Ensure as she can.  She also has been doing a little bit more of physical activity which is good as well.

She is currently on a 10-day antibiotic to help her system ward off any germs.  

Next week she has an appointment with her doctor.  We will see where she is at.  She may be able to complete the remaining 3 days of radiation next week.  And THEN maybe we can get a picture of the tumor after that to see if it shrank.  What a long process this has been.

She still isn't up for visitors but I suspect it may be okay to call her now, especially now that she has her voice back....well almost!  It's alot better than what it was.

Nothing more to report for now!

Finally Home!

Mom came home today!

She was eating and drinking more at the hospital and her levels were up.  She was getting better and better each day. She had been in the hospital since last Wednesday.  I know she was glad to be home.  Her voice is coming back more and more each day.

I'll have to ask her if she wishes to receive any calls but I know she still doesn't want any visitors.  She doesn't want anyone to see her the way she is.

I haven't gotten any more details.  I should have more tomorrow or the next day.

Slow Recovery

Visited mom today.  She was eating! She was digging right into her soup, I was ecstatic!

Her dinner menu was on the table and I noticed the soup was New England Clam chowder.  Mom doesn't like that.  I wondered if she knew what she was eating so I asked her.  She thought it was some kind of onion soup! She reached for the menu and I took it from her and said, "Hmmmm, let's see.  Don't know."  I knew that if she knew what it REALLY was, she probably wouldn't eat the rest of it, so I changed the subject.

She ate the whole bowl!  And she polished off a bottle of Ensure.  She also had some eggs and a little bit of pancakes for breakfast and some soup for lunch.  I was so very happy to hear that!

Mom seemed better today.  She no longer has the hoarseness sound when she tries to speak.  She whispers now.  She told me the doctor said she had an infection in her throat caused by the radiation and it can be a very painful experience.  He had the same condition when he was in Germany (I have no more details on that) and so he could relate to her pain level.  I'm glad of that.

She's still receiving antbiotics and Potassium.  The doctor hadn't come in when I was there so I don't have details of her vitals.  She did say that her blood pressure was high and I told her that was actually a good sign as it seems her body is heading towards "normal" (the doctor had said that as well).  Mom had high blood pressure before all of this.

She's getting a little antzy, as I had anticipated but knows how important it is for her to remain in the hospital.  

I told her how everyone misses her and sends their love, thoughts and prayers.  I asked her again if she wanted any visitors, but she said no.  She misses everyone as well.

She didn't get much sleep again last night between having to use the bathroom every hour and the nurses coming in to do vitals and take blood.  But she's hanging in there.  

I told her how very proud of her I was before I left.  I hate leaving her all alone there, it breaks my heart.  I can't wait until she is better for her, and for the rest of us.  I refuse to think or believe that she will not get better.

I'm trying to hang in there emotionally.  I'm going to work a few hours tomorrow to try and make up some time lost this week.  And then hopefully rest up some on Sunday.  I have a beautiful patio set to put together, and it's going to be a nice day outside to enjoy it.  A couple of glasses of wine will make it all the better!

More Hospital Time

I visited mom in the hospital today.  Elisa was there too.

Mom's CBC levels are still low so we continue to wear masks when visiting mom.  She got down a 1/2 of a banana today and some pudding.  Her throat is the root cause of all of this and she still is having pain.  She tried to drink a liquid form of pain reliever only to gag and throw it up.  She tried again and she was able to keep it down.

Her heart rate was 100 (was 132 yesterday) so it is going down as she becomes more hydrated.  She received an IV of Potassium and later Magnesium.  She is receiving antibiotics and medicine for her upset stomach.  

She didn't sleep that much last night.  And apparently when she was sound asleep, she was awakened by a nurse who wanted to take some blood.  Why on earth could that not wait?? 

The doctor came in and took her vitals and her temperature is back to normal. They don't know for sure still if she has an infection but they are continuing her on antibiotics just in case.  

They plan on keeping mom until Monday or Tuesday...unless she starts eating more and feeling better, then she may be discharged earlier.

I have my surgery scheduled this month (Septoplasty) and my stress level just went up a notch.  My boss put in his notice and I'm concerned about my co-workers having to cover me in my absence...and there's my recovery and what that entails...worrying about mom and taking care of her and her medical finances...finding time to take care of my house...lack of vacation time to cover my surgery/recovery time...so many things on my mind. And Just like mom, I'm thinking about things that I don't have to yet that is months away. But I know I'm surrounded by a wonderful support system so that helps.  But sometimes I feel overwhelmed.  Like today. But I'll get through it.  I have to.

Okay, I'm done whining, lol.

I'll keep you posted on how mom is doing.  I plan on visiting her again tomorrow after work.

A Little Hospital Time

I called mom this morning to see what time Dan needed to pick her up to get fluids at the chemo center.  I could not believe how badly she sounded.  She totally lost her voice but she was able to tell me she couldn't swallow.  I was VERY concerned to say the least and a little shaken up by this. My gut was telling me something was wrong and it was more than what Elisa told me last night.

I called Dan and told him how scared I was and I told him I was leaving work to go with him because I had a bad feeling and felt she may be admitted to the hospital.

When I got home, I called the clinic to let them know what was going on.  This was 9:30.  She was scheduled to get fluids at 11am. My gut was telling me not to wait.  I told the doctor what was going on and he said to bring mom in right away.

When we got there, they took her vitals.  She lost more wait (currently 39 pounds lost now), her blood pressure was 118/78, her heart rate was high at 132 and she had a temperature of 100.  They wanted to get her blood work done and get fluids in her stat.  She was so dehydrated, it took them 45 minutes to find a vein they could use. It was so painful for her as they kept trying different sites on her arms and hands.  Her platelets were so low too that her blood would not coagulate, she bled too easily.  At one point after they got the needle in, she was bleeding out and it got on the nurses' pant leg and all over the floor and of course mom's hand. 

She went through an entire liter of fluids before she felt the need to use the bathroom.  They gave her saline and also potassium fluids.

The doctor came in to ask mom some standard questions and to discuss what she had eaten/drank since Monday which wasn't much at all.  The doctor and I encouraged mom to stay overnight in the hospital as we all felt it was in her best interest.  This way they can give her pain meds to help her eat as her throat was so very sore she couldn't swallow.  And if they needed to, they would feed her intraveneously. The doctor feels she may have an infection. 

Mom was admitted to the hospital today.  What is unnerving is that she is only a few doors down from where the room her brother passed away in a couple of years ago.  She said that she remembers walking down this hallway every day to visit Wayne and remembering seeing everyone in their rooms and never thought in a million years, she would end up as a resident herself.  

Mom will spend a couple of nights there.  She will be receiving a platelet transfusion and possibly a blood transfusion as well.  Visitors must wear masks as mom has nothing in her body to ward off infections.  The nurses must wear masks, gloves and a gown.  Mom doesn't want any visitors, so please don't ask me what room she is in.  Nor is she taking any calls right now.

I had to leave mom as Dan and I were with her all day talking with doctors, getting her blood work done, fluids in, getting things from her house for the hospital stay...and the dogs had to be let out.  We didn't get home until 5pm.  I'm glad she was admitted to get the care she so desperately needs but I'm also sad because she is not home.  I feel like she is far away although I know, realistically, she is not.  I miss her already.

Elisa has the next two days off which is good.  At least she can visit mom during the day and I can go visit her after work.

Hopefully this will end up being a good thing for mom.  She needs to get better.  At least she will have round-the-clock care for the next 48 hours....

Not good....

Last Tuesday, mom's throat was very sore and she was just having a very difficult time eating and drinking.  She took it upon herself to stop treatments the rest of the week in the hopes that she would feel better to be able to drink and eat more.  She was barely getting one bottle of Ensure down a day and some gatorade.  As the days wore on and the weekend approached, she wasn't doing much better.

On Monday, she went to the chemo center to get some fluids hoping it would make her feel better.  They drew blood to get a CBC (white and red blood cell count).  It was very low.  Lower than it was last time when she almost ended up in the hospital.  They decided she would not receive any more treatment this week.  She only had 3 more days of radiation left to finish this cycle.

On the way home she told Dan (who took her and cared for her at the clinic) that it felt like her arm was wet through her coat.  Didn't think anything of it until they got home. Come to find out, the clinic didn't apply enough pressure to the part of her arm where they gave her fluids.  She was bleeding!  Dan had to call Elisa when they got home and have her re-bandage the spot where the needle was and Dan took mom's coat and clothes and put them in the washer.

Then today I get home and Dan tells me that mom is worse and that I can't call her.  I called Elisa.  She said when she talked to mom earlier over the phone, she grew very concerned as she could hardly understand mom.  As if mom couldn't breathe.  Then Elisa went over there.

Mom's throat is so sore now (even more so) that she can barely speak.  She can't drink or eat at all.  The Gatorade hurts her stomach.  Her chest is purple from the radiation and she looks very bad.  Mom called the clinic and they are having her come in tomorrow for more fluids and steroids (which she did yesterday).  Dan is going to take her tomorrow.  I'm very worried.  She could end up in the hospital at this rate.  Not sure what to do.  I've tried so hard to tell mom several times to force whatever she needs down her throat, do whatever it takes no matter how hard it may be.  I almost feel like she's giving up.  She is so worn out now...not only physically but I think emotionally now too.